30 Years of Law & Order: Part VI.I Update

Now that TLATL's readership is soaring at an unprecedented rate, it is time to rekindle the series on our favorite courtroom drama, Law & Order. We've taken quite a hiatus. Since our last installment, there have been many changes. Junior Detective Nina Cassidy left the two-seven after only one year and was replaced by Det. Cyprus Lupo. Then the unthinkable, Detective Green leaves. Cyprus Lupo moves to senior detective while Kevin Bernard takes his old position of junior detective. Bernard is no stranger to the 27th precinct as he was the Internal affairs detective who investigated a shooting involving Green. The new Executive ADA is Michael Cutter. A young no-nonsense go-getter, that reminds us all of a certain young DA whose brass was a little too shiny for his saxophone. That's right, I'm talking about Robinett.

Of course I'm talking about Jizzack McCizzoy. He assumed the role of District Attorney. TLATL has made some changes of our own. We've added a member to our blogging crew. Ryan has gone from lead commenter to kick-ass contributor.

So we had to ask ourselves, how do we finish this series without starting from the top? To fix this, Roller and I took our TLATL residuals and went to Vegas. We spent six days and seven nights pouring over not only all of our previous posts but also the newer episodes of this epic drama which will air its 20th season this fall (for those keeping score at home, that's a photo of roller reassuring Coovo that there's always next year). We came up with the following:

• The subject of our final post and the final position of the show is the Asst. ADA, currently held by Connie Rubirosa. She dates back far enough (2006) that she would have been considered even before the changes.
  


• None of the new characters, I mean crime fighters, while frigging awesome, had any affect on our takes in the previous posts. I thought for a second that Lupo's performance might cancel out Green's performance giving my nod to Junior Detective nod to Logan, but I think it was just too much of Roller's single-malt scotch.
  


• For this last post, our comrade in arms, Ryan, will give his take through the comments as he was so adept at doing for the previous 6 posts. But, when we pick our L&O Dream Team, which might be before New Year's Day, Ryan will cast a vote right along side Roller and me.

To get you back in the mood we present a special bonus: The Shrink.

There have been two profilers that have assessed the mental capacity for the district attorney's office. First is Dr. Elizabeth Olivet. Practicing for the DA's office from 1991-1997, and then again in 2002 and again in '06, '07, '08 and '09, Olivet has received favorable comparisons to both Brett Favre and Michael Myers. She recently testified for the defense in a case that Cutter was trying. McCoy warned her that the gloves would come off. Cutter reveals that she had been romantically involved with a patient, a Detective, while treating him. Ouch. I turned the channel before the verdict. Olivet fun fact: She is one of five characters to appear in all 4 Law and Order series (Criminal Intent, SVU, Trial by Jury). They don't count the short lived Law & Order: Conviction, Law & Order: UK, or Law & Order: Evidence Schmevidence. The others: Ed Green, Arthur Branch, Elizabeth Rodgers (the Medical Examiner) and our man Lenny Briscoe.

In between Olivet's stints is Dr. Emil Skoda. While Olivet seems to be more caring and compassionate, Skoda just tells it like its is. "The guys a classic case of post-traumatic stress syndrome. He knew it was wrong. You going to finish that brownie?" Skoda is a psychiatrist whereas Olivet is a clinical psycologist. Skoda misses out on the L&O grand slam by having never appeared in Trial by Jury, however Olivet never appeared in a prison "group hug" scene.

Coovo's take: Have been and always will be a Skoda guy. Olivet is a good at what she does but Skoda doesn't read through the prisoner's b.s. Pardon my French abbreviation. I always kind of liked when they brought in the shrink and liked it better when they would piss off McCoy by disagreeing with him. Which would seemingly put me in the corner of Olivet. Not quite. BBS: Bring Back Skoda!!

Roller's take: This is an interesting choice. I've always been a fan of J.K. Simmons; I think he's an excellent character actor, with the range of comedy to creepy. I never liked the Skoda character too much, but I think Simmons delivers the role exceptionally. Kind of like Casino, where I loathe Sharon Stone's character, but I think her acting was surprisingly top-notch. I don't have any complaints about Olivet, but I think the way the role was written and delivered was, in retrospect at least, somewhat typical. I'll give the nod to Skoda.

We hope you enjoyed the return of L&O, and as always, we'd like to hear your takes as well!

Law & Order

TLATL's own Roller and Coovo devoted quite a series of posts to, well, quite a series on TV. It appears that they aren't the only two devotees to the great show of Law & Order. A comic I saw on Comedy Central (who did an overall pretty funny show) had some stuff to say about TLATL's favorite guilty pleasure:

Jokes.com
John Mulaney - Jerry Orbach
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John Mulaney - Law & Order
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30 Years of Law & Order: Part VI - Old Timers and One Liners

The following is part 6 of a 51 part series on "Law & Order". Other parts can be seen here:

• 30 Years of Law & Order
• Who's the Real McCoy?
• Aye Cap'n
• Let's Make a Deal
• Young Guns
  

When Law & Order hits the airwaves, we are usually witnessing a collection of folks who are just living their lives but stumble upon a crime. Usually a dead body. Yuck! Through the magic of TV, police are on the scene in seconds. No matter if it is morning, noon or night the same two detectives are always dispatched to the scene. Displaying unnerving calm, these two superior dressed cops have talked to witnesses, got the rundown from CSU and managed to crack numerous one-liners all before your clock hits 9:02pm. It is with this diligence that we are launched into an hour of gripping drama with a really hot assistant district attorney.

DUH-DUH!

This duo is lead by the senior detective. I guess. Until we researched for this series, neither of us had any idea of the classification of the two. It does make our job a lot easier.

The first senior detective was actually a senior sergeant. Max Greevey (1990-1991) is about as old school as it gets when it comes to police. Tough. Honest. Smart, but not in a wake-up-smart kind of way... more like blue-collar smart. And the most old school trait of all? His name is Max. The role was already very likable, but actor George Dzundza (God Bless You!) deserves some credit for that.

Max and Mike Logan had a father-detective / son-detective type of relationship. They were men from different generations but they respected each other's work. Their partnership came to an abrupt and fatal end when Greevey was unable to recover from a fatal shot from which he died fatally.

Phil Cerreta (1991-1992) had the arduous task of replacing Greevey. Logan and Cerreta didn't get along initially, as Logan was "greeving" his partners death (Billy would have killed me if I missed that pun opportunity), but they eventually got along well.

Cerreta starred in one of the better scenes in early L&O, when posing as someone interested in buying stolen guns he was shot by the seller who, on what seemed like enough speed to kill a horse, panicked in the middle of the deal.


Mike Logan's 3rd partner in as many years was Lenny Briscoe (1992-2004). There isn't one person on earth who can sum up a situation in less than 10 words better than Lenny. Never fleet of foot, he made up for it with wit, charm, a good nose for investigation and sound interrogation.

One of the most surprising / least known facts about Briscoe is his role as passenger in the car that killed Claire Kincaid. The driver, drunk, was giving Lenny a ride home from the bar, who was also too drunk to drive.

Jerry Orbach left the show in 2004, most likely during his bout with prostate cancer. He made a few appearances with some L&O spin offs in the year following, but passed away soon after that.

Briscoe's unceremonious retirement leads to the addition of Joe Fontana (2004-2006) who came to the 2-7 from none other than the Chicago Police Department.

Although of the same generation as Greevey, the personality pendulum swings far away from Max, with Fontana making numerous references to the value of his shoes, suit or Mercedes.

Fontana's flashy appearance and somewhat brash personality matched his bend-the-rules style. He left the show after a couple years for unknown reasons, written off on the show as retirement. I'll bet he's down in Florida complaining about how much he sweats when he wears his suit to the beach.

Ed Green is promoted to Senior Detective after Fontana retired. You can read more about Ed in the previous L&O entry Young Guns.

DUH-DUH!

Roller's take: If I were to say anyone other than Lenny Briscoe I couldn't look myself in the mirror. I almost want to get divorced a few times just so I can always have a one-liner handy about an ex-wife. Because he paints it as a really happy life, right?

Because this is a one-horse race, I'll rank them so as to show some kind of appreciation for the rest. 1) Lenny 2) Lenny 3) Greevey 4) Cerreta 5) Farina 6) Green. I would actually put Green higher but he still needs to cut his teeth as the Sr. Detective. Greevey may be one of the more underappreciated characters on Law & Order. Coovo you agree/disagree?

Coovo's take: At first I was like, "What is that annoying Dad from Dirty Dancing doing on Law & Order?" It was the last time I ever doubted Dick Wolf (until Criminal Intent came out). You sympathized with, you admired him and you cried with him. I loved how he always had an old friend from back in the day who they could call on for some assistance. I'm pretty sure the biggest chapter in a coffee table book of famous TV one-liners would be of Lenny Briscoe.

Max Greevey's one year may have been better than any one of Briscoe's. Yet we must consider the brilliant decision of George Dzundza to leave what has become the longest running drama on TV for such career changing roles as Leo Lemke in The Butcher's wife and Hal Griffith in Dangerous Minds. He came back to TV in Jesse, with Christina Applegate. Nice move George. You showed them.

Fontana--had to be mobbed up. Cerreta--so you got shot, get back to work. That's what Green did. Green--he's got my respect.

Note: Law and Order is back on the airwaves in its old Wednesday night slot: 10 ET/9 CT. I've seen one show. Afterwards, I took out my stuffed teddy Briscoe and cried myself to sleep.

30 Years of Law & Order: Part V - Young Guns

The following is part 5 of a 51 part series on "Law & Order". Other parts can be seen here:

• 30 Years of Law & Order
• Who's the Real McCoy?
• Aye Cap'n
• Let's Make a Deal
  

You remember when you were in 7th grade and Young Guns was the coolest movie ever? I don't. It was loved by the same kids who loved G.I. Joe in 4th grade. Not me. I was into Strat-o-matic baseball. They loved Charlie Sheen and his brother Emilio Sheen, while I was more into Fred McGriff and Mike Greenwell. By the way, does anyone know why the Red Sox wear red socks? Answer at the bottom.

Oh right, this is a Law & Order post. Well, welcome back from the break. Most Law & Order episodes start out with Law. The cops. A Crime Scene Unit is processing the evidence as the detectives wander up and our ears perk up for a Lenny Briscoe one-liner. Unbenownst to us, the two detectives are actually classified, junior and senior detective. This certainly makes our job easier. Instead of evaluating 9 different detectives, we can focus right now, on just 4. The juniors.

Some know him as Big, but anyone worth a salt sees Chris Noth as detective Mike Logan. Through 5 seasons and 3 partners, Mike Logan was the staple at the 2-7.

Logan has been described as somewhat of a short fuse, so it comes as no surprise that he didn't get along with Jack McCoy. One half of one of the better detective pairings in TV history, Noth apparently thought his character was more valuable than NBC, and his character was written off the show in 1995. I suppose it's that he was paired with 3 senior detectives that makes his tenure on the show seem longer than 5 years.

Logan's mistake was Rey Curtis's gain. Benjamin Bratt came on board to play detective Rey Curtis. It seemed that every female interogatee had some sort of Briscoe-like quip for the hunky Latino.

The picture to the left exemplifies everything you want to believe about Benjamin Bratt the actor, and thus Rey Curtis the Detective. I mean, come on, his last name is Bratt.

The show smartly played the other side of the coin, though. Unlike bachelor Mike Logan, Rey Curtis was a devoted family man (except for one little slip-up with Jennifer Garner - oops) and a by-the-book cop. His vocal displeasure at some of Briscoe's greasing of the legal engine lead to some friction with Briscoe, another contrast to Logan.

He and Briscoe eventually developed a friendship, but soon after Curtis left the show after 5 strong years.

Jesse L. Martin joined the show as Detective Ed Green in 1999 and at 8 and counting, has more years than any other Junior Detective.

Changing gears once again, Green's character returns the show to the brash, arrogant, whatever-it-takes attitude made popular by Mike Logan. Cultured and in tune with the youth, Green has a keen ability to adjust his interrogatorial style to fit the perp.

When Senior Detective Joe Fontana retired in 2006, Green became the first Detective on the show, and so we can only assume in all of NYC, to be promoted from Junior Detective to Senior Detective. Upon hearing he was a Senior, Green vowed to do nothing but cut class and bag chicks.

When Ed Green was promoted, the Junior Detective spot opened up for Nina Cassady. Imagine the one-liners from Briscoe if the two had been paired. It's like a whole other season of Law & Order in my imagination.

Cassady is from a police family, and has butted heads with Lt. Anita Van Buren, who apparently had her own replacement in mind for the position.

Cassady has only one year on the show, and apparently her character is on shaky grounds at the department. She probably slept with Cragen or something.

That's it, right? Well, not quite. It was only four shows, but while Det. Green recuperated from a gunshot wound, Det. Nick Falco came on board to assist Detective Fontana. On HBO you could see Michael Imperioli killing people and on NBC you could see him catching killers. Bizarre.


Coovo's take: Nina Cassady? Please. She was on the show for a half cup of coffee in which she forgot to put in cream. It's hard to go against Mike Logan. He's an old school cop who actually was demoted for striking a defendant. He's got some gonads. I love cops with gonads. His character has resurfaced a couple times. Most recently as a detective on Criminal Intent, and before in as a member of the Staten Island Harbor Patrol in Exiled: A Law& Order Movie. Rey Curtis was a good cop. A wuss, but a good cop. Ed Green seems to be the easy Choice given his stellar run. I'm a big fan. So it's down to Logan v. Green.

Logan wins points for working with three different partners and for two different captians, but loses points for being on criminal intent.

Green gains points for taking a bullet on the job, but loses points because the reason he was shot was because had to leave the show to film Rent.

Logan gains points for cleaning up the 2-7 in his TV movie, but Ed Green gets points for getting promoted on the job, not demoted.

Logan loses points because the actor who plays him was on Sex and The City, but Green also lose points for his actor being on Ally McBeal.

The deciding factor is that Green gets points for working with Lenny Briscoe longer.

Roller's take: Obviously, this is the Nina Cassady show. The other gentlemen are about as memorable as the last 3 dudes to get bounced on the 4th season of Who Wants To Marry The Bachelorette?

So yeah...This one isn't too tough for me, but I don't want the easy decision to mask the runners-up. I'm a fan of Logan, Curtis, and Green, but in my mind Logan is the original and one of the characters that made the show as memorable as it is.

Coovo's re-take: You know Roller, if you want to mock Law & Order, do it on your own blog, but if you want to have serious discussion about our Television's legal system, then do it on this blog.

Roller's re-take: For a look at the lighter side of Law & Order, check out my new blog www.laughingatlawandorder.com.

Answer: Because Mike doesn't wear green well. Geno made that joke up in 7th grade.

30 Years of Law & Order: Part IV -Time to cut a deal!

The following is part 4 of a 51 part series on "Law & Order". Other parts can be seen here:

• 30 Years of Law & Order
• Who's the Real McCoy?
• Aye Cap'n

As we continue our assessment of the greatest drama ever to be created by Dick Wolf, we move slightly up the ladder to analyze the District Attorney of New York County.

That the word "Attorney" is included in the title of this occupation is somewhat misleading. Truth is, there's not a lot of attorneying going on. The DA doesn't really do much in the way of prosecuting criminals or sleeping with his hot Assistant DAs. The DA is more of a poli-ticker, guiding the ADA's prosecution based on how the outcome may affect public opinion of the DA office. In their defense (awesome pun), they can also provide sage advice from the decades of experience they have in prosecuting criminals and sleeping with their hot ADAs.

The role of DA in Law & Order has been played by 3 people:


When he retired in 2000, Adam Schiff (played by Steven Hill) was the longest-running current cast member at 11 years. That's a long time to run. Schiff, with a voice as dry and peaty as the single-malt in his right hand, can solve the ADA's dilemma in his sleep: "Your star witness, is a one-eyed, transvestite midget, and your victim is a 3-toed sloth out on parole for the armed robbery of a convent. MAKE A DEAL."


After Schiff left, Edward Scissorhands' mom jumped in for 3 seasons (2000-2002) to fill the role of Nora Lewin. She must have had a hard time seeing, because she squinted quite frequently. I think it was a metaphor for her determination to seek justice. Like David Duchovny always says, "The Truth Is Out There", and sometimes you just have to squint to see it.


Arthur Branch and his booming southern twang made their debut in 2003. It's kind of like a cowboy running the DA's office. He's got a quick trigger finger and ten gallons of don't-make-me-put-you-in-the- Texas-Toaster-boy! for anyone who gets in his way. Well, that's how I'd write it anyway.

Branch is known for his conservative approach, though, which has lead to many a clash with noted liberal hot-head Jack McCoy and his harem. For those who don't know, Fred Dalton Thompson was actually a US Senator (R-TN) before accepting the role of Branch. He's pondered a 2008 run for the Big One. He'll obviously win, so for those who care to know a little more about your next President:

• Supports the right to bear arms (what cowboy wouldn't)
• No clear stance on abortion (has wavered but believes it should not be government funded)
• Supports free trade
• Thinks Al Gore is a nut
• Would like to continue to "secure our borders" from job-stealing foreigners

Coovo's take: Was that the only picture we could find of Diane Wiest? Thing is those specs are back in style now.

Chances are if you tune in to a TNT re-run, you are either going to get Schiff or Branch. If the life span of Law & Order were a day, Nora Lewin's tenure would be a quick lunch break. She did her best but in the end she couldn't escape the shadow of the Schiffster.

It always appeared, by his voice and slow motion movement, that Adam Schiff was annoyed with his job. Smiles were at a minimum and he probably holds a TV record for consecutive sighs. The thing I like about Schiff is he always backed up his ADA's even when they completely ignored his advice. And when he plopped on that fedora to take himself home for the evening, he reminded me of a that Greatest Generation of people who never stopped working for what they believed. Man I wish I had that hat.

Arthur Branch however made his money in the private sector and now wants to put people behind bars. He is as resounding as Schiff was subtle. I do like him as a DA. His character is strong and his southern wit always leaves me with a chuckle. But he is new age. He plays the political games. And, he has no hat.

To me, it is no contest. I cast my vote for Adam Schiff.

Roller's take: I never liked Nora Lewin that much. Nothing against the actress or the writers, but the character did nothing for me; she seemed weak. Ole' Tennessee Thompson isn't bad, but he's not the reason you hang around for McCoy's inevitable discussion with the DA.

That, my friends, is Adam Schiff. He's everything you want in a DA. He's old. He's crotchety. He wears those awesome old-man hats. His voice makes Joan Rivers sound like Judy Garland. His calm demeanor is the perfect balance to Jack McCoy's temper.

The show, in my opinion, was top shelf in throughout the '90's, although it started to degrade somewhat towards the end of the decade. That Schiff was still around kept the second half of the show strong, but his departure after the 1999-2000 season left a hole in the show for sure, no matter how small his role was.

In the next episode of The Loop and The Lou, Coovo will dissect perfect form in a jump shot, and I'll explain why bacon makes everything better... stay tuned!!

30 Years of Law & Order: Part III - Aye Cap'n

The following is part 3 of a 51 part series on "Law & Order". Other parts can be seen here:

• 30 Years of Law & Order
• Who's the Real McCoy?

What makes a good police captain? Historically, television (a.k.a. The Truth) has taught us that there are a few traits that a police captain must have:

1. The ability to go on a tirade, spawned by a general disdain for a rogue, hot-shot detective.
2. Some sort of medical condition, preferably an ulcer or a heart-condition. This should be treated by handfuls of non-descript pills washed down with Scotch.
3. Either a multiple divorcee, or an Irish Catholic devoted father of 7.
4. Without question, the captain is male. Chicks don't get ulcers.

We are pleased to say that Law & Order bucks the trend in this category. The role of Police Captain probably has the least impact of the 6 major characters on the show, but at times is called upon for a one-liner to close a scene, or to advance the story line when the detectives seem out of options.

Comparing Donn Florek (Capt. Donald Cragen) and S. Epatha Merkerson (Lt. Anita Van Buren) is similar to the Stone-McCoy issue; Florek was only on the show for the first 3 seasons, and Sepatha has become the longest-running active cast member. If possible, look past the pictures for our takes on each character.

Coovo's take: It shocks me to know that Cragen was only on the show for three years. Upon further review, it was four years (1990-1993), but still a short time. It always seems like the originals were there longer than they were.

It took me a while to warm up to Cragen. Dan Florek's previous TV character was some whiny dude from LA Law. I hated that guy and it ruined my interpretation of Cragen. Cragen. I love the way it rolls off my tongue. Nice and Irish.

Van Buren is all balls, well, except for the obvious. She took the police to court after she thought she was passed over for the promotion. She always stands up to the males who try to put her in her place. However, except for a few shows, she just seems to have few lines. They're all something like, "That's strange, why don't you go back to the neighbor's alley and canvas it."

The question is, are we allowed to judge Cragen on his work in the SVU, where in my opinion, he is one badass captain and is making the world safe from pedophiles and rapists. If the answer is yes, I go with Cragen. If the answer is no, I go with Van Buren, because I just can't get that LA law dude out of my head.

Roller's take: Halle Berry is hot. They should do a Law & Order spinoff called like... "Law & Order: Halle Berry Swimsuit Edition". Every episode would have to have some horrible pun title like "The Court of Sex Appeals" or "Behind Bras". Florek has this look on his face like, "She gets her picture with Halle Berry, and I'm in suspenders?"

Anyway, Capt. Cragen was great because he was always stressed. Not so over-the-top as outlined in the intro to this column, but he always had a furrowed brow, and always answered the phone "WHAT?!?". I can't say the show skipped a beat when his character was replaced by Van Buren, but he was good; what you expected out of an NYC police captain.

I was never felt strongly one way or another on Anita Van Buren. She lacked the fire that I thought a police lieutenant would have, although in some scenes that quality has actually scored points with me. I've seen a few episodes where she gets some one-on-one time with the accused, a racist or a psycho, and her moral high ground approach was refreshing.

In the end I gotta go with Van Buren. It's kind of like having Nel Carter run the Detectives Unit, and in a fight Cragen wouldn't last 2 rounds against Nel.

30 Years of Law & Order: Part II - Who's the Real McCoy?

The following is part 2 of a 51 part series on "Law & Order". Other parts can be seen here:

• 30 Years of Law & Order

OR

I was going to write brief bios of the only two Executive Assistant District Attorneys the show has ever known, but somebody already did that on Wikipedia. Ben Stone is on your left and Jack McCoy on your right. Links to each of the actors that play these characters are available on those pages. If you're like me, you don't need to research. If you're like our friend Ryan, you can use the links above.

McCoy has had a lot longer time on the show, but Stone's years in the courtroom aren't something to coy about. Get it. Coy, like McCoy.

Both of these pictures make me want to stay out of trouble with the law. I almost picked another Ben Stone picture because I was worried he was going to prosecute me for uploading his picture. Why the hell is he under a bridge?

Roller's take: Jack McCoy is the man you want as the ADA for your city. He shows no mercy in prosecuting the accused, and isn't afraid of bending the rules to serve justice. He knows when to bluff to get a confession, and just how much (or really, how little) he has to give another perp to get the testimony that wins the case.

That said, in terms of the character I like more, I have to go with Ben Stone. Although he wasn't nearly as fiery a personality as McCoy, he was as hard-nosed when it came to putting criminals behind bars. I suppose though, that it's his even-tempered nature that makes me feel like I could have a conversation with him, and maybe even agree to disagree about something. With McCoy, I'd be fighting the urge to duck the whole time.

Coovo's take: Good points Roller. It is easy to here to say McCoy. He has dominated the prosecutorial lobe in our brains for the last decade plus. His passion in and out of the courtroom makes us feel good about the legal system.

Stone was more crafty. His time on the show, though limited, was complex. His calm demeanor could be mistaken for nonchalance, but his even keel allowed him to move from case to case with little or no hangover.

Both were all business. Well mostly all business. Early on in the show, McCoy had a reputation for sleeping with his assistants. Point McCoy. Notice he's never had a male ADA. Critics say McCoy goes on warpaths and blinds himself to the law with his personal feelings. Ben Stone believed in the law. Point Stone.

In the end, I have to go with McCoy. He's Irish. He's got salt & pepper hair. He's awesome. And, I haven't seen a Ben Stone episode in 5 years.

In the end, they are both great characters and integral to the show's success. In the "Order" half of the show, the weight is carried evenly by the Detectives. In the "Law" half, the Executive ADA is ultimately responsible for the taste in your mouth each episode leaves.

30 years of Law & Order: Part I

In 13 years, Law & Order will have been on the air for 30 years. Here at The Loop And The Lou, we find that accomplishment blogworthy.

Wikipedia provides an excellent history of the show. If you're a fan of the show or you're interested in a career in Law and/or Order, it's worth checking out.

As informative as Wikipedia is, it does lack a certain attitude or boldness to it. It's like, "Here's all this unbiased, objective info. Feel free to draw your own conclusions". I don't know how they like it in Wikipedia, but in America we like our info in the form of product comparisons or subliminal government propoganda. And if you can't turn a conversation into some kind of Top 10 list, then it probably isn't worth conversing about in the first place.

So in this 47 part series, we're going to turn all that info into something every American can use - Coovo and my opinions on the best Law & Order characters. That's right. We'll take each unique paring of Detectives, Captain, ADA's and DA over the show's 17 years, tell you what we think, which scenes Tim and I like to mime in our "Law & Order: Mime Division" street shows (hint: Coov mimes an awesome Ben Stone), and in the end we might even come up with some kind of Law & Order Dream Team.

Peace out,
Robinet

p.s. We won't be reviewing Law & Order S.U.V. or any of the other spinoffs.

Mr. McCoy, meet Mr. Coover

So over the weekend I saw an old episode of Law & Order. In this particular episode, a professional basketball player was accused of killing a heckler. It was an average episode by L&O standards, but there was one piece of the storyline that probably hits home to Coovo and his dad.

The player in question had a deep bond with his high school basketball coach, and often consulted him when in trouble. Many of you already know this, but Tim's dad, Mr. Coover, was the 6th grade basketball coach for reigning N.L. MVP Ryan Howard.


He looks happy doesn't he? Well, you can thank Mr. Coover for that. Tim's dad was the man who single-handedly transformed the 200 lb. power forward into a cleanup hitter. And to this day, Ryan maintains frequent contact with Mr. Coover, and relies on his sage advice.

Last November, when Howard barely beat out Albert Pujols for the MVP award, Pujols had this to say, "Ryan Howard did not deserve the MVP. He is big and fat and should have stuck to basketball. I hope the Cubs don't sign Soriano." Well, it was something like that anyway.

Soon after that statement was released, Ryan placed a call to Mr. Coover and consulted his mentor on the best way to handle the situation. Mr. Coover responded, "Say nothing. Pretend he doesn't exist. Albert Pujols is a flash in the pan. He's 43 years old and will be out of this league by 2008. And he would have never started on our 6th-grade team. Marty (Coover) would have dunked all over him. If anyone believes differently just look at Marty's game film.... Checkmate."

As we all know Howard held his tongue.

The mentor/mentee relationship is a precious one that few are fortunate enough to have. If it weren't for relationships like the one between Ryan Howard and Mr. Coover, there would have been one less episode of Law & Order to watch. And frankly, I don't think I could live in that world.