Monday, March 15, 2010

March- The Greatest Tease

As someone who nearly totally despises Winter and totally loves Spring, March is a difficult time of transition for me. Every year, without fail, I begin to think that Spring in all its glory should be here on March 1. I start pulling out shorts and sandles. I start thinking about going to the pool. I literally start going out to the garden and looking for flowers to bloom. I am 35 years old and I know that March 1 does not bring Spring with it. Yet, I get fooled every year.

I have been thinking about an analogy for what March is like for me and I have found it. For those of you who have ever driven from St. Louis to Denver on Highway 70, you will know what I am talking about. March is Colorado.

When you are driving West on Highway 70 and your destination is Denver, all you can think about from the start of trip is seeing the Rocky Mountains. Your mind can focus on nothing else- Rocky Mountains. I have made the drive at least five times and everytime I watch the mile markers count down as I cross Kansas, knowing that Colorado and the Rockies are only 200 or 150 or 50 or 10 miles away. Every time, my sense of anticipation begins to build that Colorado is just a mile away. Then it arrives- the border and I cross into Colorado and look around and see.... nothing. Nothing at all except the same crap I have been staring at for the approximately 6000 miles it takes to cross Kansas. Eastern Colorado has to be one of the most disappointing places on earth. Flat nothingness- much worse than Kansas and the thing that makes it much worse is that at least in Kansas, you didn't kid yourself that you were close to your destination.

March treats me the same way. I go to bed at night on Feb. 28 thinking, "Thank God that tomorrow is March 1. Spring will be here tommorow." Then, in general, I wake up to a day with a high of 33 degrees and I realize that I have been fooled again. Now March is not all bad by any means, just like Colorado is not all bad. As soon as you hit the Rockies, Colorado is the most beautiful and majestic of states. March is the same. Later March is often glorious and exactly what I have been expecting it to be.

Once I started to think about it more, I realized that the analogy worked well for Kansas as well. Kansas, of course, is February. Gray, dreary, monotonous and it seems to go on forever.

I tried to see if I could come up with any other state/month combos and I only came up with one more. Nevada is December. When you think of either one of those, they are both pretty non-descript places/months dominated completely by one location/date of great celebration and decadence. Feel free to toss in any further month/state combos that you can think of.


誇張 said...

great msg for me, thanks a lot dude˙﹏˙

Ryan said...

See what I mean about China competing in the U.S. and us not competing there? No wonder Google left.

Matt, the analogy of March to Colorado cracked me up. Also, if Kansas is like February, then NOrth Dakota is like January. You keep thinking you should be excited to be in North Dakota, that there was some foggy reason you were happy once (New Years and Christmas) but those reasons are long gone, and you're just in North Dakota and have a long way to go.

Driving across North Dakota makes Kansas seem like Iowa.

(Sorry, I guess that's a Midwestern attempt at humor.)

Doughboy said...

I actually thought about using Missouri as January given the Kansas/Feb and CO/March analogy. It seemed to make sense as it is generally pretty dreary but has a nice little time/place of celebration in the middle (Martin Luther King Holiday/Lake of the Ozarks). I then decided against it as it seemed to equate Party Cove and all its strippers with one the the most inspirational and important figures in our country's history. North Dakota works for me.

Coovo said...

I think 誇張 doesn't realize that what his statement loses a lot in the translation.

Interesting analogy Matt. I've always been a winter person myself. I love sweater weather. Sweatshirt weather is more like it. I don't want to confuse anyone I don't like hot weather that turns people into sweaters.

Marty said...

You guys should send an e-mail blast out or something to remind everyone that you are still here, especially now that you are posting stuff...I used to check everyday, and then I forgot you existed. Somewhere between my e-mail check, my sports websites, and my bank balance you got lost in the shuffle loopandthelou...either way the last three posts were outstanding stuff, i could kill a day on March's Nits alone....

...and in Chicago, March is especially Colorado, only just when the mile markers are showing that you are going to be in Denver you are magically back in Kansas for awhile, and then magically transported back to the Greater Denver Area with no warning at any given time.