News Nits

"All the news that's fit to reprint."

Have you missed us? News Nits has missed you, Dear Reader. What a world we live in, where datetimestamps string together and turn blips into blurbs into twitters into conversations and a month goes by. Going through a month without News Nits is like going through the winter without corn. We apologize, professionally and amateurly, since we don't get paid but we wish we did.

Enough. So many nits to cover. Can you believe this? Ford the auto company is introducing its first Electronic Vehicle to the U.S. (I... like...) Big but, it's not a cute little hybrid like many of the foreign companies have tried to introduce, it's a delivery vehicle. Huh? You mean Ford is trying to do something more than put iPod connections in their vehicles and hire Mike Rowe? Dare I say it? Is Ford leading the way in auto innovation? Well maybe not yet, as it seems Hybrid vehicles are still a luxury item for people who can afford to be cool Green.

Prepare to be totally freaked out, or should I say geeked out. DARPA (the Pentagon's Educational Grant-funding wing) has announced it is partnering with Ridge Global to map the "underground". This includes like sewers and stuff where creepy crawly terrorists like to hide. Next, they plan to map the scowls of Donald Rumsfeld. (We're not the only media still living in the Bush era.)

Anyone else sick of Twitter? How weird is it to constantly talk about yourself? But if it's the only way you can actually find your friends, here's a neat little meta-program that combines all your so-called friends onto one site. It actually could be sort of useful in a situation like SXSW.

Have you been paying attention to how bad our economy is and how great China is doing? Yeah, they own virtually all our debt, which means our citizens' hard work over the next 30 years will be making the government of China rich. Who's your daddy now? I've got nothing against the people of China, I just don't want to work for them. Especially if they still use sticky rice to hold their buildings together. And if you've voted for Gore, Bush, McCain or Obama, then you have supported the policies that have gotten us here. Stinks, don't it? Before you get scared off of some foreign trade policy that might help our country, don't run from "protectionism" as a possible alternative to "free trade" or "offshoring" or "globalism." (This is just awesome.)

Apple, an American company, has been getting some complaints about the reception on the iPhone 4. In fact, Apple seems to make lots of slightly unusual design decisions. That, however, has not seemed to affect sales in a negative fashion. Nor has it stopped them from partnering with mega-companies in fairly cool ways.

Here's some cool stuff on the oldest trees on the planet. Also, since universities became all about big business, you may now take classes on UFO studies. Philadelphia remains the class of the U.S. in fans, and it's not just football or basketball anymore.

President Obama, Friend of the People, softened his stance on off-shore drilling just months before the BP Gulf oil disaster and a couple years after his no-nonsense opposition to it during his 2008 acting role as candidate. He has also decided to take a page from the Bush-Rumsfeld era and is reviving our "nuclear" missile program in ways that made Bush look dumb. Yes We Can! And while many people across our land realize it might only make sense to enter into a voluntary foreclosure by simply halting payment on their mortgages, data is coming back suggesting that the government's intrusion into the real estate market has not only not worked but has slowed down recovery by filling the streets with economic uncertainty. Steve Wynn agrees:



Back to the streets, it is now illegal in three states to record cops doing their jobs. How many old science fiction movies does this validate? Speaking of science fiction, Lou Reed played an entire concert arranged for dogs. What is New Jersey growing in their gardens? Twinkies? If you're looking to attract a new alternative to America's Soccer Moms, it appears that Cougars can't get enough of Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men.

Verizon is claiming they just pushed 1 Gbps through two PCs on their network as well as 10 Gbps through their heavily vested FIOS optics system. Rumors are that Apple will open their iPhone this coming January to other networks. Prepare to be rocked. A bunch of kids discovered a new cave on the surface of Mars. You think your commute is tough?

As the economy continues to cough up blood, the Republicans picked an unusual time to prove their deep philosophical points about welfare and debt. They, however, continue to be effective at pointing out how stupid they are, economically and politically. Around the world, Google struggles with operations in China as China now leapfrogs the U.S. not just as a polluter but as a consumer of energy. Keep your eyes out for headlines regarding cyber terrorism. The Axis of Evil could become a long list soon.

And finally, if you feel like you'd want to help out the editors of The Loop and The Lou but find raw cash tacky, consider a gift that keeps on giving. We broke the story on the problems of running in fancy running shoes, so we'd like to at least get some credit for our media savy once in awhile.

Happy Trails, dear Readers.

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. -- Alex de Tocqueville

[Editor's addition: This is the link mentioned in the comments.]